Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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