I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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