Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize