you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies don't puke and tell
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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