If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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