apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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