I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
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I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
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We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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