did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize