yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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