My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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