We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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