Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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