so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i think i scared a bird with my dick
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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