Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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