Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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