why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
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Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
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David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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