I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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