I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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