That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You may now shotgun with the bride
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize