I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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