You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
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Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
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I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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