First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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