It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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