We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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