Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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