I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize