My hand turned me down
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
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