I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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