I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize