its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
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I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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