Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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