Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
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i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
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I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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