Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
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I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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