yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize