Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
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Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
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Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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