I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
How naked do you want me to be?
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