she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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