omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
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Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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