the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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