my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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