Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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