God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize