She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize