could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize