sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize