I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
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Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
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i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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