i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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