I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize