...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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