I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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